All you artists are fucked up. (From an old folder, from somewhere in the ’90s.)



I was hanging a door at work today

when this piece of shit I work with

asked me what I was working on

a book

I told him

no shit,

about what?

just a bunch of short pages

on different things, I told him.

so, he smirked through

his rotted-ass teeth, and

said, so

it’s not really a book then, right?

and I said

that’s why I didn’t say novel,


that’s when he dropped his level

and called me a queer

and I laughed

and told him

if I really was queer

he would have been loved over and over

by this point in our relationship

all you artists are fucked up

he said and picked up his level

just help me square this goddamn frame I said

so I can leave

and he said all artists were selfish

and I said more like precious

faggot, he grunted

listen, I said

you keep projecting your weakness on me


me and you are gonna

go round and round

to which he said bring it on,


he squared off

and I squared off,

caught him on the jaw

stunned him

Jesus, he said

I was only kidding

and I said so was



Algren mentioned that

he liked to stay close to

his sources.

About Jeff Stewart

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2 Responses to All you artists are fucked up. (From an old folder, from somewhere in the ’90s.)

  1. scott olson says:

    ha ha ! Date: Wed, 13 Aug 2014 18:11:07 +0000 To:

  2. thatchmo says:

    all my altercations have been 1-hit wonders, too

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